MATHEMATICS LOVE LETTER

My Dear Love, Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of an element to a set.

The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima.

Yours ever loving... Pythagoras

PORT-HARCOURT STUDENT WINS MTN AEROPLANE!!

What a lucky girlll.

Finally, the winner of the MTN Ultimate Wonder AEROPLANE has emerged and the lucky Nigerian is Miss Ebube Essien-Garricks, a 27 year old student based in Port Harcourt.

When MTN had called her to tell her she won the aeroplane, she had excitedly screamed: I need the money...money...money!


Ebube chose the cash option of N64million!!!!!!!!!!!!

GRADUATE MANAGEMENT TRAINEES RECRUITMENT AT RECKITT BENCKISER NIGERIA PLC

The Reckitt Benckiser Nigeria Plc Management Trainee Program is designed to intake fresh graduates and develop them as leaders for the future in the Marketing, Sales and Supply Chain functions.

The program stretches over a period of one year in which selected graduates will be rotated in various technical job functions. The assignments are about real responsibility and real results, while creating an environment where Graduates develop through practical learning and coaching from senior managers. Selected graduates will initially be based at our office / factory site in Lagos & Agbara. Copied from: hotnigerianjobs.com

ANOTHER FACEBOOK CASE! GIRL DRUGGED AND RAPED BY MAN SHE MET ON FACEBOOK

Remember the story I published yesterday about a Unilag student that almost lost her life because she refused to sleep with the man she met via Facebook. Sorry If you missed it.

Well I guess she was lucky to have escaped and survived, unlike the unlucky lass that was drugged and raped by a man she met on Facebook.

JUAN MATA NAMED PLAYER OF THE MONTH

Congratulations to Juan Mata, who was named the Barclays Premier League Player of the Month for October after a series of stunning performances. A month that began with two assists against Norwich City was followed by two goals and an assist to help see off Tottenham Hotspur , before culminating with a sublime free-kick against Manchester United which is a contender for Goal of the Month .

Congrat to Sir Alex Ferguson as he won the Manager of the Month.

4 NIGERIAN FEMALE STUDENTS INVENT URINE POWERED GENERATOR

Possibly one of the more unexpected products at Maker Faire Africa this year in Lagos is a urine powered generator, created by four girls.
The girls are Duro-Aina Adebola (14), Akindele Abiola (14), Faleke Oluwatoyin (14) and Bello Eniola (15).

AKPORS, THE PROUD IDIOT

Teacher:- All Idiots stand up, Only Akpors Stood up.
Teacher:- So you are an Idiot?
Akpors:- No Ma, I Just can't bear you Standing up Alone.

Enjoy!!!

NAKED MAN RUN AFTER A PROSTITUTE AS SHE TRIES TO FLEE WITH HIS MONEY

The man in the picture above is naked because he slept with a prostitute in a hotel. This is not a scene from a NOLLYWOOD Movie.. *lol*
After he fell asleep, the prostitute tried to run away with all his money. Luckily enough, he woke up in time and went after the woman without even thinking about his clothes. He dragged her back to the hotel room. What happened next remains unknown.

US ELECTION TEARS PDP, ACN, OTHERS APART

The quick resolution of Tuesday’s presidential election in the United States, last night, sparked off quarel among the three leading parties in Nigeria, with the ruling Peoples Democratic Party, PDP and opposition parties accusing one another of bad manners. Reacting to the quick acceptance of defeat by Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, the PDP in a statement congratulating the victorious Barack Obama, had advised opposition parties in Nigeria to learn to accept defeat, accusing them of being bad losers.

HOW ‘PHD HOLDER’ LIVED, DIED IN REFUSE DUMP

What exactly happened to Dr. Olawunmi Thorpe, an Ogun State indigene, who died a homeless man, may never be known.

To passersby and residents, who saw Thorpe everyday in the rubbish dump beside the rail line at Fagba Bus Stop in Ifako-Ijaiye Local Government Area of Lagos State, he was a deranged man.

But what many people did not know was that Thorpe had a Bachelor and Master’s degrees in Mass Communication and a PhD in English Language.

BANK TELLER AT A LEADING BANK

Phillips Outsourcing is a world class  company providing better career opportunities, is seeking to recruit qualified candidates to be part of its dynamic team to work with its client, one of the largest financial institutions in Nigeria

Job Title: Bank Teller

Job Functions

US ELECTION: OBAMA MAKES HISTORY AGAIN, WINS SECOND TERM

Barack Obama’s re-election for another term in the White House opens a new chapter in the already historic tale of the first black president of a nation scarred at birth by a deep racial fault line. But for Obama partisans his re-election was essential. Only with a full eight years at the helm of the US presidency will he be remembered for the change he wrought and not just for the change he represented.
Though it was key to the euphoria that greeted his first election in 2008, Obama’s race has rarely been a dominant political theme since.

LITTLE BOY WANTS TO LEARN TRADE

Hear this little boy speak:

"I dey go learn handwork cos I don tire 4 dis skul. All d exercise books wey ma papa buy 4 me na waste. Teacher go say make I copy wetin dey black board n I go do am. Later, she go wipe d board. As a gud student, I follow her erase ma note wit eraser after wasting much time n energy. Could u believe dat she go giv exam n expect me 2 pass. Wetin she want make I read wen I don follow her eraze d note wey I suppose read?"

I GOT DISVIRGINED BY DON JAZZY- TONTO DIKE

Tonto Dike has appeared in our faces again barely a month after that messy fight with fans on the battle grounds of twitter, this time with a tweet not about her music, movies or tattoo but rather on the state of her virginity which she’s publicly announced was lost to Mavin crew Boss Don Jazzy.
Her tweet read ‘I got disvirgined by @DONJAZZY” i think this a lil bit Too Much info.’
She is not alone on this thought as a lot of her followers on twitter also think the same way and it’s beginning to generate an uproar.

D’BANJ LIVES HIS DREAM… WINS MOBO AWARD

Dapo Oyebanjo’s dreams are unfolding before his own eyes; he wanted to make collaborations with international acts, he got it, he wanted to be signed with an international label and be a heavy weight on the music stage, he got it, and  now, aside his many awards,  D’banj has just won this year’s Music of Black Origin MOBO award.

GRADUATE CUSTOMER SERVICE OFFICER AT MAY & BAKER NIGERIA PLC

We at May & Baker Nigeria Plc is committed to applying our resources and science to improve the quality of life.

We provide quality and affordable medicines, food and beverages to those who need them.

 

To ensure we can continue to deliver on our commitments to the patients, customers and shareholders who rely on us, we are focused on improving the way we do business; on operating with transparency in everything we do; and on listening to the views of all of the people involved in health care decisions. 

Through working in partnership with stakeholders, our goal is to improve the quality of life; throughout life, for all lives

 

We are currently recuiting for the position of:

 

Job Title: Customer Service Officer

GRADUATE CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE AT STANDARD CHARTERED BANK

Standard Chartered Bank Nigeria - We attract talented individuals. Not only can they give you the benefit of their experience, they also reveal a closer, more personal look at the wide range of global opportunities we offer. At the core of the Group's people strategy is our focus on employee engagement. Engagement is a key driver of productivity and performance, which creates the foundation of our performance culture. We encourage and focus on the behaviours that bring out the very best from every employee, assessing their performance not just on results but on how those results were achieved. To further embed these behaviours we have a remuneration programme in place, carefully designed to incentivise our employees to live our values every day.

 

We are recruiting for the position of:
Job Title:  Customer Service Representative 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ICE PRINCE ZAMANI

Nigerian Hip Hop Artist Ice Prince is 26 today. The rapper who also shares the same birthday with his siblings - Julie Nasara Zamani and Lizzy Nasara Zamani will be digging it at Deuces Lounge, Victoria Island by 9pm tonight.

Wishing him a splendid moment.

OYO FIRST LADY ARRESTED IN LONDON BY MET POLICE FOR BEING IN POSSESSION OF £400,000

Mrs Ajimobi has been alleged to have a case of money laundering proffered against her following her arrest two weeks ago by the London Met Police for being in possession of about N100 million.

The governor’s wife was reportedly held for a few days in London before her husband came to bail and stand surety for her pending when her case will be heard in court.

FUEL SCARCITY TO BITE HARDER – INVESTIGATION

LAGOS—Indications are that the current fuel scarcity across the country may persist for a long while, as NNPC cannot meet the current demand. Also it was gathered that major and independent marketers were yet to start full importation of fuel products.
Vanguard investigations across the country show that motorists are buying the product above the approved price of N97, as petrol now sells between N110 –N120 per liter at most filling stations in the country.
Concerned major and independent marketers, who spoke to Vanguard expressed fear that  the situation is likely to get worse in coming months, as the demand is currently more than supply.